I recently texted my wife about an article I was reading entitled ’13 things to do with the clitoris.
Is it clitoris or cliTORris. Clitoris sounds like the action your tongue or fingers might do across it. Clitoris, clitoris, clitoris. I’ve seen porn where it looks like they’re strumming a banjo for Christ sake. . Clitoris, clitoris, clitoris. …….cliTORris , now that sounds like a surgical tool. Scalpel, sponge, cliTORris. I’m not sure.
Now I’ve been married 32 years and like many long term relationships, sex gets …well you know, it’s there if you want it and sometimes it can become like exercise equipment you own . You have a lot invested in it, it still looks good but, the new season of Orange is the New Black is amazing and there’s cake in the fridge.
So I text my wife this article and I don’t hear anything back. Normally she might not look at her phone for a while but we just got these iPhone 6s and if there is any chance to interact with the most amazing phone in the world, she will ……..But I get no response…the rest of the day …or that night when I got home. But there was cake.
The weekend comes around and we worked in the yard all day because I chose a career path that doesn’t include a gardener
Finally, we’re on the deck having a beer, admiring the days accomplishments and my wife blurts out, ” #7 and #10….”.
“The article, #7 and #10. Let’s start with those.”
I immediately whip out my phone for a refresher course and I see that #7 and #10 are two of the more tamer ones. #10 is just called Lip Service … very straight forward and I’m sure effective, but I mention #2 which is called The Alphabet…… She gives me the look , ” Let’s just start with some vowels .. Besides, Game of Thrones is on tonight.”